Letter to Lady Luck

33, Lucky Avenue,
Imagination Park,
00000, Heaven.

Dear Lady Luck,

Hi, how are you??? You're one heck of a busy lady. Bestowing luck and taking luck from different low life person every single day.. I know you hate your job, like very much hate it, because you don't get paid for every luck you give and people mostly think that you don't exist and the luck given to them is fated or just plain accident.. I know, I understand exactly how you feel.. note that I highlighted and bold "exactly" in red shows that I really comprehend your situation. It sucks being invisible... Anyway, I'm guessing that you know me, you know, the short 19 year old girl?? The girl where sometimes (I think) you accidently gave me some bad luck not on purpose... I don't blame you, you must had a very bad day on those days.. I understand.. But today, I think I should gives you some heads up to prevent 2nd time happenings like today, which will be explained in detail if you continue reading..

Yes Lady Luck, I perfectly know that I don't know how to cook.. but You don't have to cause misfortune to me everytime I tried to dish up something... It's very hurting you know, plus the fact that I'm hungry, makes the problem far more aggravating.. Girls like age of mine, or maybe younger, tend to get very hungry easily.. & also often in a bad time.. especially at night..blame it on our raging hormones.. When we get PMS, we eat more too.. so have some pity for us girls.. & if we are hungry, we will be hungry..... we will stay hungry, no matter how much we force ourselves to sleep.. we will still be awake, because we're still hungry.. that is why they say: If a girl is hungry, feed her. (I don't know who said that, maybe it was me) So, now you understand why I was in the kitchen at 12am.. I know that I can't cook, but I can make something which is edible to me.. and only me. I don't mind, as long as I can eat. That is why, I hope you won't give me any misfortune anymore.

It's very annoying when you just finished frying some spaghetti in olive oil and garlic, and then ended up cleaning and wiping the kitchen floor, because you just "accidently", without grace, pour half of the food on to the open floor. I know that I'm clumsy and lazy, heck I ate out of a wok, who doesn't? It saves time and also water.. Or Maybe you were just concern when you saw how I cook... I assure you that it is 100% edible, although it may be too salty and not appetizing.. However, it doesn't give you an excuse to knock half of my wok of spaghetti to the floor.. Do you know how hard it is to get the oil stain of the floor.. Even till now, the floor is still oily eventhough I mopped it few times... It really took the enthusiasm of eating right out of me...

So you see, I'm writing to you to request that you would go low on me, and maybe spare me a few luck next time?? I reckon that this letter may be 1st or maybe 3rd letter you received, knowing that how little people believed you actually exist!!! It's ok, don't be so hard on yourself.. I also know about your past relationship that made you so disorientated in your job.. For example, how the asshole Mr Fate abandoned you at the altar, and eloped with Miss Destiny 2 years ago, ( I must admit, Miss Destiny was a hell of a bodacious babe, but you're a beauty on the inside, it takes time for people to figure out) and Mr Miracle was just plain gay! But work and personal stuff are different, you should keep it apart.. So please, have a good judgment next time. I hope the next time I cook, I get to eat right after I finished cooking, and not caught up with cleaning business after cooking... I can tolerate, but I'm not patient. So, you really don't want me cussing swear words at you, right?? Because, the next unlucky person would be you.. & I hate seeing you jobless, cause you're doing a damn good job for others..

Thank you very much.. I don't expect replies, but I don't mind hearing back from you..

Love,
The girl who can't fucking cook.

p.s I think I would be the next person in FML stating that how my mother in law bribed my husband to divorce me because I can't cook.