Blunt

I'm blunt...

in fact, I'm getting blunter and blunter as each day passes...

My emotions, my feelings, my thoughts, my rationality, my senses.. They're all becoming blunt. So blunt that everything seem lifeless to me. As if I'm walking in a dream.. Only walking but never looking.... and if I happen to look, I'm never seeing nor feeling..

Gahh..... I need something happening... I need a new perspective.. This cannot go on..


I need to be awaken

Another random Idea..

From now, I'm gonna remember "the very first day we met" for every people I've met. 

Actually, this phrase was suppose to be in my dream...

I was sleeping.. and I was dreaming.

I think it was more to thinking and cracking my brain than dreaming...because I was trying so damn hard just to remember when was the first time I met those people in my dream...and I can't remember all of them but only some.. maybe because some has more vivid impression... Not necessarily good, not necessarily bad too... So when I woke up, this idea was stuck to my head like some UHU glue.. So I've decided to go along with it since it's not a bad idea...

Though first impressions doesn't really judge a person but remembering the first time brings a damn  bond with your friend...The first time we met man!! It's only between you, me and no one else..  Who else will share the same first day??? Maybe, you met that person in a group, 10 people saw you the very first time, you saw 100 people the very first time... So what?? Same day only what.... but your perception towards each and everyone is different right?? Also, the first split seconds when you first saw somebody..
Don't tell me when you bump into 5 people,  your damn brain can instantly visualise 5 people infront of you just like that.. NO.. you'll look at everyone one by one... in just split seconds.. and by that split seconds, you have multiple impressions and thoughts about somebody eventhough you don't give a damn.......but who knows, from that damn insignificant day onwards, you're friends with one of the 10 people or maybe friends with all of them...
I mean why the hell would I go so far to remember the very first time we met eventhough it maybe insignificant, normal, bored, plain, nothing much to remember...This prove that you're not just a nobody.... at least I give a damn about you......maybe I cannot remember the exact date, but I still have some mental image about you when I first saw you... & also its quite fun... you still can share it out after years and years of friendship.. You can even blackmail them if it that first time experience was an embarrassing moment.....

Ok, enough with the damnation thing..

So what I'm gonna do is get a book.. and from now, I shall start jotting down every person that I've encounter or just encounter in person.. ok.. not every people I meet, but the ones that I really see and not just glanced through.. Of course I won't remember all, like for people who I've met when I'm small or those that has been with me for years.. but I still have some picture about the first time I saw you eventhough its fading..

My memory doesn't last that long.

Nightmare wasn't on Elmstreet, but Me........

Today I woke up at 1.30pm.... despite sleeping at 5am the last night... It's consider a very big improvement for me as I've been waking up at 5pm ... urgh.. even I feel so unhealthy about waking up this late.. but what to do????  There's your bed... your bear bears.... your bolster... and your irritating sister... what more to do than just sleeping in????

Well, today I went to watch a movie.... A horror movie in fact... It's not really about ghost and paranormal activity.. ok.. it's supernatural.. but not ghostly.. because ghostly movie is a big no-no for me... The movie was:

Nightmare on Elm Street.... 

I thought it wasn't a big deal because I know that this doesn't happen in real life.. In fact I know what the whole story is about... I know the whole plot because I wikied it the night before.. I know which one is gonna die now.. who's gonna die now... who killed the killer... bla bla bla ... literally it means EVERYTHING..

Basically, the whole story is about some lame perverted man that cannot be killed even how many times you burn, stab, castrate him....  not to mention having hideous and ugly face beyond all reason.. walking around, crankling his knives-like fingers.... killing fucked up teens who were all having the same nightmare....... and at the end... everyone died..... ok.. Not everyone... the last 2 didn't.. but their brains were psychologically screwed...   

Not scary right?? Sounds kind of boring..

I ended up watching with a popcorn cup bigger than the size of my head infront of me.. 

All I can see is... the border of the screen.....and people screaming here and there... The girl beside me was clinging to her boyfriend as if she's the one getting killed. 
Well, it's still better than having to hide your face behind a popcorn cup for 2 hours or sooo.....
The moment the movie starts.....just so instantly, I felt that pang of regret in my chicken heart.....

thump, thump, Thump, THUMP!! THUMP!!! THUMP!!!!!! Oh shittt.... WTF, WTF, WTF... WTH... oh hell lord, have mercy on me........... 

all this happened in the internal part... on the external part, everytime they have this.. "JIEEEENNNGGG!!!!" sound.. (means that the killer has appeared, and ready to chop people into curry)... my body does this 1 second epilepsy... Only 1 second.. not 2.. but 1..


Gahhh... pathetic.... Horror movie.. is so not my thing........Call me to do anything, I will cross blistering winds, scorching desert, climbed the highest mountains...........to watch any kind of movies with you....  (you pay for my expenditure and journey lah)... BUT when it comes to horror stuff like this.... I chickened out.......like an ostrich freaking out with its head under the ground......

I vow that this is the FINAL and LAST.... and I mean it.. LASTTT!!!! with triple Ts ..... that I'm watching a horror movie......


It's sadistic that my mind get easily messed up but unrealistic things..........

The Eagle is back to Home Base

This time the flight from Dubai-Kl was far more comfortable than the 5 hours of torment from Moscow-Dubai... because I have my tv...

and also the whole three seats to myself....

Yeah!



















The whole idea of travelling alone especially when it involves transiting sucks alot because:

1. There's no one to watch over your bags...

means you have to constantly be aware of your own belongings.... also means that you have to carry it around anywhere and everywhere you go.. like the toilet....

2. there's no one to wake you up when it's time to board...which then results unnecessary panic moments

Like when I suddenly woke up and realised that no-one was around me... . I checked my time and the clocks say 10.50am while I remembered that the boarding time was 9.30am.... My heart seriously dropped.... I was swearing and cursing here there and everywhere... turns out... that it was actually 9.50am, the gate opens at 9.30am and boarding time was at 10.30am....

3. there's no one to wake you up when it's time to eat...

I missed my flight meal.... well it's no big deal... but this time the meal include TIRAMISU!!! WITH CHOCOLATE SAUCE SOME MORE WEH...... I was craving for that man... well too bad lahh...

But overall, the trip back was alright...

and once the wheels of the plane touches the ground, I realised that everything's over... Kursk is more like a dream to me... I'm home... .... though this place is home.. and it gives me a sense of belonging.... it also gives me the feeling of being trapped...  like a bird... after flying few thousand miles.... it finally returned back to its own cage... & some day, I'll be free again.... & I'll will continue flying.. far away... but no matter how far I fly... I will return back to my very own cage...

& as I stepped out of the airport.... the humid air which again surrounds me... and I'm overwhelmed with my allergy again...... No doubt, I'm home for real.

A quickie in Dubai

I've finally arrived in Dubai airport after a torturous 5 hour flight with no inflight entertainment and with very bad back and shoulders ache ...

The airport is packed with ppl eventhough it's 6 in the morning ... There's so many ppl until it made me grumpy... What a good way to start a morning .... I woke up with aches, have to try to open a path for me to walk because there's too many ppl and the movement was sorta stagnant and I eventually lost my patience and start pushing through... Plus there's no seats and now the only thing that is cheering me up is my burger from burger king ..

So here I am at the gate avoiding humans and waiting for the time to pass... And I'm seeing many tired faces ... I feel for them .. Transitting is indeed exhausting ... 3 hours to me is already like O.M.G.. Imagine having 12 hours of transit.. I think I can just sleep on the floor and wait till being called ...

Anyway I noticed that today I saw alot of Japanese ... Japan on holiday ka ?? All so free to tour Dubai airport.. But they all damn cute lah especially the elderlys .. The old people like to wear the hat which is usually worn by cancer patients .. And they are so easily amazed by small things .. As if that it was god made... And I saw some of then posing infront of the fountain with peace sign ...

And now, I'm not very sure whether I'm at the right gate ... WHY NO MALAYSIANS WAN ??!! All in burger king and starbucks izit ??? Ai ya wth lah .. I still have time ..

More updates soon....

Before flights happenings

What happened on the plane before flight


Nothing......

Thank god I got the aisle seat, at least I won't feel so trapped and I found out that my seat for Dubai-KLIA is a window seat!! I get to lean on the wall and gaze outside anytime I want ...

The plane is full .. And I wonder where all these ppl come from... Don't they have jobs to do, families to feed ??

Oh great, my tv is not working... So much for inflight entertainment.... Argh !! How am I suppose to endure the whole 5 hours flight !?

Now, I am seeing this woman from the business class, snapping pictures of her seat ( FYI, my seat is near the business class zone or izit First class?? Watever lah, conclusion is more glam and syok then economy class) As I was saying this woman was happily snapping photos.. I bet it's her first time in business class .. Very happy hor?? Come snap pictures in the economy class lah, view also not bad wat .. Just crammed only mah...... I see her having a glass of wine too..white wine some more leh.. Wah.. Enjoying the life eh??

Oh my tv is working again, now they are talking about emergency procedure Why do we even need to fasten our seat belts? I mean if ( touchwood ) the plane crash , we all die anyway with or without seat belts ... That's why I never fasten my seat belts...Unless if the seat belts are so cool that makes you look cool maybe I would ( jZ kidding )

Ok, it's time to take off !!! And I realise my tv is not working again W.T.F !!?? Noooooo!!!!!!

Shit lah..

A quickie is Demodedovo

Yeah I've finally found a way to blog through my itouch...after all these years ...(no lah, not years but months) Anyway I'm currently in Moscow Demodedovo Airport and I can't believe that they have wifi here FOR FREE ..no seriously, I thought everything in Russia has a price tag on it...even the Internet.. Turns out I'm wrong leaving me feeling like a noob now ..

So moving on, here I am in the waiting lounge along with 40 or more people around me ...
The women on my left is sleeping with her glasses on.

The woman on my right just took of a shoes and I'm smelling some odd smell slowly creeping into my nose ( it's a mixture of perfume and sweat, mostly it smell like some armpit smell) Oh!! She's wearing glasses too...

The woman infront of me is wearing sunglasses... I guess she's having jet lag because it seems to her that it's day time with super glaring sun shining from nowhere ... Now she just took it off....

There's this boy infront of me, and he's drawing horses, more like drawing a horse head (omg, the feet smell again)

The woman behind me is doing something I don't know because I can't see her , in fact I don't think that she's a woman ....

Now I'm playing peek-a-boo with the horse boy's brother ... We are sticking our tongues, he's hiding ....... And I'm still smelling the feet smell, oh gawd....

So as I look up from my itouch, I saw more people and I guess boarding time is soon ..

Urgh I hate to travel... Don't get me wrong, I love to travel and see the world but the process of it like taking a flight, transit, packing and carrying luggage.. It sucks alot..

So here I am, blogging just to let the 40 minutes pass like a snap.. Of course the people here are interesting, there are:
The couples
The newly wed which you can see lots of PDA
Husbands and wives of all age range
Toodles and small kids that drive their parents crazy
Business men who are either on their laptop or their high- fi bb phones ...
Familes.. I mean big familes.. From baby to greatgrandparents
And last but not least the loners
Like the woman with smelly feet, the girl infront of me , the guy far away from me, people around me, and of course me ...

Ok, I think that's my cue to go ... So more updates soon...

P.s the smell is killing me !!!!!!

Knit Buzz 2

Ok... I'm done with my knitting... In these two weeks.. I've completed 2 knitting projects.. A scarf and a cap... & I'm so darn proud of myself... though it may not seem so nice... It's pure hard work....

So there.. my finally finished scarf..

and now.. the cap...

It started from this..

5 needles k... I nearly vomitted blood...



to this...

The fluffy ball on the top of the head was made by my friend












Combined them together..

You get a mismatch of outfit !!

Knit Buzz

Yes.... Update is getting less and less frequent....It's all because my day is so packed.... & I don't really have time to blog.....


So.. what's the buzz?? I ain't going to class no more..... Now.. the only priority is to get my scarf done by next week... because I'm heading back to the Land of Racists and with more Racists (Malaysia) next week... Time flies like nobody business..... So fast that you wouldn't even notice.. that time really can fly...

Anyway.. what's happening lately is.. I've started taking knitting classes (last week) from this super expert in knitting senior....... & HE'S A MALE SOME MORE WEH.... tell me... how many guys can knit man..... He can knit almost like .... anything... seriously.. and no... he's not gay, and he sure ain't no girly girl.....  & because of knitting, he's surgical skills are so damn good.. *though I've not actually seen him in action during operation.. but based on his knitting speed and accuracy... he's no noobie.... & it's proven.... Knitting improve surgical dexterity... and a whole lots of other benefits that you wouldn't even give a damn about.... (google it, if u are)...

Anyway.. like I said.. I've been learning knitting.... and my first "project" is... Scarf... beginner style...... So , he brought us to buy our knitting starter kit.. which.. consist of.. Yarns... knitting needles.. and crochet.... &; thus, our lesson begins....

Initially.. it was quite tough.. handling needles... and yarn strings at the same time...... made a hell lot of mistakes.... certainly got laughed at alot of times..... but once you get the hang of it.... It's quite enjoyable... thus.. It also relief stress....

So.. I chose Blue, Beige and Turquoise colour as my main colours for my scarf....

This is the first attempt of knitting my scarf....
Notice the holes and bumps....















Look closer... more holes and bump...... (fail___________)











Now even closer... WTH?!  Such big hole..... an embarrassment to all knitters....














This is the 2nd attempt..
&; it looks better than the 1st.....

Just let it flow..

& the 3rd one...
it's improving.. even though there are holes and bumps....

This is just the beginning... will post up the full scarf after I finish this.....

Spring.. is in the air...

It's Spring here.... ok.. It's already been Spring ever since we touched down Russia, but it's started to get warm already... & the place is starting to bloom with flowers.....

Russia, maybe a harsh country...

But when Spring comes....it's certainly put a softness into this place...

You don't need to go to Japan to see Sakura.. because there are sakura here...

 They bloom fast... and wilt very fast too.... You may see it bloom today.. The next two day.... it is there no more.... So small and delicate, yet beautiful beyond reasons..

Also.. there are alot of tulips......

Red Tulips..














Yellow Tulips...














Mutated Tulips...

When plants mutate, they look pretty... but when human mutate.... all hell breaks loose.....


then,

there's this flower... which I don't know..


















 more sakuras.... I think this is sakuras..

Yellow Narcissus
















Dandelions...

There's alot.. ALOT of dandelions here... but we didn't really noticed it... until we saw... them floating everywhere in the air..... I thought it was bugs.... Turns out.. they were DANDELIONS....

Another unknown flower...



















The place is just simply colourful......

no longer like this...

see lah... so sad right??? Like the Land of Dead.. where Zombies can spring out anytime, anywhere, any second.....











And after 3 weeks... all of these.. will be in the past.... and what's left is only Me and My memories.....

Of course, where this journey ends, another voyage begins....

Ambitions, Jobs and Kungfu Master

Hmm..... I'm having random thoughts at some random time like now.. so why not write it out?? (no la, coz somebody asked me to write)

Well, I was pondering about the possibilities that would happen IF I DID NOT CHOOSE MEDICINE...

Of course, Medicine was my dream and all.. I've been wanting since I was .... 8???  ..... after I realised that it's impossible to be the Prime Minister.... and a Kung-Fu master..... yes.... when I was in Primary One, you know the teacher would asked us to write 3 ambitions down so that she would put it down on our record books... yeah... this were my ambitions:

1. Kung-fu master

2. Scientist

3. Teacher

Kung-fu master

Yes.. if you were at the age range of 5 to 12.. and the television program that you are watching are all about Once Upon a time in China, Wong Fei Hung, Shaolin Temple, The Karate Kids, The Drunken Master and Dragon Ball...... You would definitely be obsessed with martial arts.. You would have creative imaginations about tackling down ... 10 men .. make that 20... with your own small pinky... You would pretend you caught 3 flies with just chopsticks... You would treat your own bolster as the enemy.... If you sleep, you dreamed about saving the world... Yes.. Save the world..... Not the cheerleader ... but the world... (Heroes wasn't up in the program list till 2007)

Scientist..

When I was young, I always have this concept about scientist... that they were ALLOWED to blow things up.. You know the old classic act about scientist??? Don't tell me you don't?????? *Gasps* REALLY???
Fine,  let me enlightened you...
The classic act about a scientist holding two test tubes ..... then he starts pouring that the blue liquid in test tube A into the test tube B containing green liquid.... then..... KABOOOOM!!!.. His face goes black, covered with ashes... His hair.. there's 3 conditions..EITHER:

1. It goes bald

2. It goes up like an afro..

3. It goes partially bald.. (like patches here and there)

Teacher

I think there is a time that kids just like to be a teacher.. well, for many reasons..

1. You get to scold the students

2. You get to play with the chalks and the blackboard,

3. You get to mark books.....

Yes.. for me.. my reason was reason no.3 .. I just love to mark books.. I even marked all my story books... eventhough they were printed.... I don't know why... till now, I still don't know why... Of course, I wouldn't know that being a teacher requires more than that.. like.. having to endure hated stares of students, having multiple nicknames ( e.g Marble Head, Dinosaur, Godzilla, Purple Monster, Miss Oh-I'm-so-busty, Batman), being pressured by the higher authority, preparing the next lessons when you know you students wouldn't give a damn....

So there... My 3 ambitions... I proudly wrote that down on paper.. handed it in to teacher.. only to find out that what she wrote on my record book was..

1. Askar (soldier)

2. Teacher

3. Pramugari...(air-stewardess)


=.= ...She foresees my future as a air stewardess... and a soldier.... At that time, I really wanted to be a Kung-fu master.... so I was pretty bummed....

Ok.. Random moment just occured........
Anyway, I just thought about the possible career that I would pursue if I hadn't gone for Med...

Top 5 Jobs that I would go for..
*Note that careers are arranged in no specific order*

1. Pilot

2. Soldier

3. Archeologist

4. Mythologist ( I know it doesn't exist)  

5. Nurse


Thank god, I have a passion for Medicine.
p.s I'm in the midst of Biology.