=)

I love you Bear Bear.... Muahhh..

Raya

To Port Dickson !!

Line Woes..

I miss you..

 Thank god for handphones...


I'm just bored without you, Bear..

1 day of Pure Bad Luck

This was suppose to be on the 1st of September.. I know it's late, because I was occupied on the 1st and 2nd.. So, I'm re-writing this on the 3rd...

What Happened on the 1st day Of September..

(cue music.. jeng jeng jeng jeng)

A few coincidental things that weren't supposed to happen.. happened.... Just one very bad day for the whole family..

1st Bad Luck...(Entree)

The key, used to open the front door...

BROKE into half...

leaving the other half in the door lock.. (its still in the lock now.. ).. Everybody just had to pass through the back door for that day, until someone figured that they can unlock the front door from the OUTSIDE.

2nd Bad Luck (I think this was the Main course for the event)
Grandfather... got admitted to ICU... (He's ok now... He was in ICU for one day)
What happened was, he was bleeding.. from the anal.. There was a lot of blood on the floor, I can never forget what I saw that morning... From his lower back to his legs, was just covered in black liquid... and the smell of blood was just all over the house.. yeah..... but turns out... He's got ulcer in the stomach... Thank god .. *kisses the ground*

3rd Bad Luck..(Dessert)
My car window...

SHATTERED.. 

Just because I drove past a worker who was cutting grass at the time.. I think some stone got caught in the grass cutting thingy machine and so happen-ly to fly and landed on the passenger side window..
The worker just stood there.. dumbfounded.. didn't know what to do.. While I just stared at the window... with my mouth opened... I can even hear the sound of the window slowly cracking..  and
When I got out of the car, and closed the door.. The whole window came down..  Thank God.. it didn't hit the front window... 

4th Bad Luck ( Seriously, the day cannot get any worst)
The water pipe at home..

CAME OFF   (it just dropped off like that)

resulting an amount of water.... to shoot out... 


ALL of this.. happened within one day......

Bad luck or what?!

Fingers locked, Hearts are closed.

When it all comes to an end,
the hardest part is leaving.
Bye Bear.
I miss you already. 

Merdeka?? Really?

My country is a beautiful country.....

If politics weren't that dark,
If people weren't that divided,
If all races doesn't discriminate
If all were given equal rights and opportunities
If they weren't hungered for more power,
If they weren't crazy for positions,
If they weren't blinded by money
If they stop trying to destroy each other 
If they stop working for their benefits, and start improving the country.
If they stop reminiscing of the country's past achievements, and start making new ones.. 

Yes. It will be beautiful.

but sadly it's not... because, people will be people... Humans will be selfish....

and we'll always be defined by our race and religion... and not by our country.. which is absolutely bullshit and crap.. Shame on you..Shame on you, Malaysians....

So "Happy Birthday" Malaysia ...

Heart to Heart

Really much.

Sun vs Stars

When the sun dies, it dies..
When a star dies,
a zillion other stars will shine even brighter.

August, august, august.

I'm officially starting college on the 20th of September.. 

Damn long weh....

Ok maybe not that long, since it's raya week. Yeah well, I only raya for 3 days.. and that's it. The other days, I would just spend my time watching other family going here and there to all those rumah terbuka, raya filems on the tv, raya songs here there and everywhere, while my raya mood just said     

Bye bye, jumpa lagi tahun depan. 

Not a big deal anyway, at least once a year I get the malay feel and start singing raya songs to myself.

And after all that, I'll be moving in to my new apartment on 12th. Then all the cleaning and moving and buying start.. Does that mean I have to sleep there on my own, alone after 12th? (parents have to keep the money flowin ma)...

Oh shit. 

Housemates will only be moving in, around 15th.. so.. 2 nights on my own??!! I think I probably be sleeping with all the lights on.

See, August has not passed and I'm rambling about September already.

Well, August, August, August. 
August. has always been the scariest month in the year. Because according to the Chinese Calender, August. is not August, instead August is July, but they don't call July as July in the calender thus, it is called The Seventh Lunar Month... which is practically.. ----> Ghost Month...  The month, where you know you have bad luck or just no bad luck.

Because if you have bad luck, you see things that you don't want to see.. only on this month la. Because Hades is opening the hell gates, and all those hungry spirits will roam all the kaki lima in Malaysia, and China, and Singapore, and HongKong ? any countries which celebrates the Hungry Ghost Festival.

I think it's not considered a celebration, more like an obligation.to feed them.

Of course, not to mention stages will be raised and all the chinese opera crew will start dancing, singing.. some unknown ancient chinese songs, with very very very high deafening pitch. What to do? Ghosts happy, we also happy.  But apparently this year, I heard people want to add a modern twist into this tradition. Now, there are suggestion to improve the audience, by replacing the old to the young. With short skirts, body hugging/belly revealing outfits. The more skin the better la.. Accompanied by head banging modern songs, and hot sizzling hips swinging dances... I bet they will attract more ghosts.. male one perhaps.. What happen to the guys??? I don't see them suggesting them going topless??

But this month is different.. (or maybe it's not, because I only realised about it this year). Ghost month, is 1 day before Ramadhan.
So you have a bunch of hungry dead things roaming around at night, and a bunch of hungry people roaming around in the day.
Mostly, I will be thrilled when Ramadhan's here because this implies that Hari Raya is soon, and I get to balik kampung and makan my grandmama's rendang.....  I have to crave it for 1 year, so that when the time comes I will appreciate it.  and I get to wear baju kurung.. which is kinda lame excuse, but let me be happy with this fact, will ya?

But for the fasting part.... urgh.  Seriously. I want to fast.. but every year, it was always not counted. because I end up sleeping from morning till the time to break fast. I remembered some one told me to go eat in the toilet because I cannot be seen eating.... wth?

Oh ya, that reminds me of one incident. I remembered going to some movies with Veena.. I think we were watching "Heart" you know?? the indonesian love story film.. Yeah, and we enter the cinema with popcorns and coke. Large size some more. When the film start, you can hear the sound of popcorns being crack  between our teeth,  the sound of slurping a coke, and the smell of the caramel popcorn.. All of this, came from only us... Until halfway during the show, I suddenly realised it was Bulan Puasa. No wonder, all the malay people where staring at us...... but the show was nice..... and the song.. was to die for...

" Bila kita mencintai yang lain, 

mungkinkah hati ini akan tegar,

sebisa mungkin, tak akan pernah,

sayangku akan hilang........."

See, till now the lyrics is still stuck in my head..


Well, definitely it won't happened this year, because Miss Veena, is far away in Perth.... Boo hooo..

Books Vs Money..

I see my money in the bank is getting lesser....

Expenditure banyak, tapi no income masuk.. Die la macam ni....

This. Cannot. Go. On...

I need cash!!!


Not desperately needing... but yeah... I need some income into the bank... or I'll be broke before I even enter Uni.. and that will suck a whole lot worst than hell.


I'm deciding.. whether or not to sell all my novels that I have owned... since.. since.. ever.....
but... they're my babies.... I love them so much...... I can't bear to sell them to some unknown people.....

That's why... the decision.. is still ongoing....


Should I? or Should I Not?

That's the question.

I'm out.

To wake up, almost every morning... to hear some people raising his voice in the kitchen... and always on and on .. for I don't know how many years, with the same issues..

is one of the reasons why I need to get the hell out of here.. fast.. pronto.


Seriously.



This family is just a gone case. & I want out.

I SCREAMMM!! for ice -cream.

I MADE GREEN TEA ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!! AHHRRRHHHHH!!! WAHAHAHA!!

yes... and it's edible too!


Well it's damn easy to make too.. To hell with all the articles about needing an ice cream maker..

HERE are all the instructions to make your very own home made GREEN TEA ICE CREAM!!.. without the haste of finding an ice cream maker... What the hell is an ice cream maker!?


Well, of course for those who usually bakes, cooks.. or just kitchen friendly... Making this ice cream is just like.. learning.. how to... Clap your hands... (I don't use the whistle example because I can't. )...

but for me.. It was kind of a tiring process.. because I'm not kitchen friendly.. as you can see the many attempts of me trying to bake or cook in previous post.  Either I break something, or something tries to break my patience.

So. Today's unfortunate event was.... I made a small mess in the kitchen.. because I forgot that I had left a teaspoon under the mixture, and it got stuck between the mixers... and..you get the picture right?

So there were bits on the floor..

then on the other end.. A few bits on the wall.. and the door..

Then it's on my shirt.... not to mention, my hair, and my face... 

Very small mess... but you see green mix everywhere.. . It's just like Spotting Hidden Mickey. Now you see it, now you don't. You look to your right, there you see it, on the fridge... You look to you left, another one, on the rice cooker.

Thank god, I'm doing it alone.. because I may look like an idiotic moron if I had a friend beside me..


I also have some difficulties in following instructions.. Come on, everyone does.. Do you seriously follow, like really follow, as in like  "Simon Says" follow, every single details on the instructions manual??? Seriously??

So it wouldn't hurt to put more green tea powder...or maybe whipping cream..... right??

There's one part that we are required to boil the mixture until it thickens and froth will start appearing.. Well in my situation, I was having difficulty in whether or not to boil.. because without boiling, it's already thick.. and with froth.. so.. it doesn't really matter whether or not to boil ... But I boiled it anyway.. but got impatient in the end.. because boil or not boil.. I'm getting the amount of froth that I want.. so who cares? Fuck the manual.

And turns out...My ice cream.. is still equally tasty and edible.. Ok.. maybe it's too creamy.. but hey... You fail when you don't try right?


So ta daaaaa... Home made Green-tea Ice cream..

Ok.. so not the best presentation, as everybody keeps poking their fingers in it while waiting for it to freeze in the freezer..

And my abusive, all out for fame, annoying but fun brother says :

 Bon appetit!

You.
Are judgmental.
You.
Stereotyped.
You.
Never understand.
You.
Always disapprove.

Whatever man.


I don't care.
I never did. I never will. 

English!? What.The.Hell?!

I was assigned to teach English to 9 old ladies.. (go on and laugh)

To be clearer, 9 old ladies living with cancer...

Yeah well, its part of the volunteer program...
Ok.... Maybe not, because I've not seen anything related about teaching new language to cancer patients in the volunteer program list...
It just happened on one random day, when I was waiting (innocently, really had no idea what was coming.. ) in the office, waiting for the nurses to finish registering new members for the Palliative Care society. Suddenly, Dr.Boon emerged.. from.. out of nowhere.. with 9 old, and chatty ladies. She introduced those ladies to me.. and I said.."Hi, Nice to meet you"... and the next thing I know is:

 This is Jasmine, and she's going to teach you English. 

I can feel my smile.. literally froze on the spot.. and deep down under... I was swearing and cursing in a language that me, myself don't even know.

What?! The. Hell. 

I don't even know how to handle my 5 year old hyperactive sister.. and now I have to face 9 old ladies....with disease.. and some of them speak Chinese and Cantonese, Only Chinese and Cantonese and nothing but Chinese and Cantonese.. God help me please.
My Chinese has gone from a Grade C to fail, and don't get me started with Cantonese... Whenever, I speak canto.. my friends laughed. THEY LAUGH.. right into my face... That's how bad it is.
Not to mention, that the English language I speak, is a mixture of everything in it.. I think I'm gonna turn them into a real, complete Malaysian and not a good English speaker.. I can just start praying to every religion's God now..

&; the news got from.. worst.. to.. a disaster..
We are having 2 lessons every week.. for a month..
Where the hell can I dig out that much of English lesson for them??

So my weekend was plunged into a deep state of fear and anxiety..

BUT. when Tuesday came... the whole thing turn out to be fine... ok, it wasn't just fine... it was.... very..supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-ly(say it loud, say it twice, say it fast as the speed of light!)
splendid.

The first lesson was about "How to Introduce Yourself"  (I actually wrote that on the board)..
&; taught them what to say in a situation where they meet new people.. and it turns out.. better than I thought... THEY ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD ME! while I thought I was spilling baby crap at them.....

So, they really did enjoyed themselves... and now they even know how to sing "You are my Sunshine" ... IN TUNE SOME MORE!!... I can see myself flying already..

I think I somehow manage to plant some basic English greetings in them because now, they couldn't stop saying "Hi How are you? Nice to Meet You!" .. and that's it. That's the only thing they know..

Wow. This is. An Achievement. for me..

and improvement for them....

I'm so proud!

That one old man who cannot let go.

I've been volunteering at the local's palliative care center for these few days....

So they allow me to follow 3 nurses around for 3 days.. So while they talk and treat patients, I'll stand there like a wood block observing...

Today is the 3rd day,  and we visited this particular old man..

He's around 60 to 70 years old.. but he doesn't have cancer..

He's wife had.. and passed away last year.  But it seems like he's having trouble to let go..

Well, that's what the nurse told me when she parked the car opposite his house.. She even assured me not to freak out when this man start crying..

So, as we walked towards his house, I try to get the first peek into the house.. and there he was.. Sitting at the table alone, reading newspaper..
When the nurse called his name, he looked up and smiled at us.. But the first thing I noticed about him was his eyes...

I never seen one eyes with such loneliness before..

We went in, the nurse introduced me to him and we started talking.. ok.. not me.. but the nurse and the old man... First, it was just normal chatting, like asking normal questions like "How are you, Have you eaten, What have you been doing these days"..   Slowly, he started to talk about his wife...

Then, the tears started. At first, he tried holding it back... but once he touches the topic about his wife's death  ... he can no longer hold back anymore...

Have you ever missed some one so much, so very much that you felt so helpless?
and you know no matter how much you want this person back, they're just gone.. leaving you staring out to the past??

Well, that man did.. and still is, missing her..

He told us that every night, he'll be by the door and wait,  and hope... hoping to see her walking back towards him, but night by night, day by day... what he see is an old empty road, an empty space, that he and she used to walk by..

He had known her for 50 years plus.. but the days without her felt more like 50 years... it felt like forever... He feels that he's just trapped with the memories with her... He wants to go to her, but she's too far, barely within reach... barely within sight... no longer there.

His diary, ( he let me read his diary).. was just full of grief, guilt and self pity.. ... The way he penned down his emotion into that blank piece of paper, it was really beautiful but sad.. He wrote it all in Chinese.. Even though, I suck in Chinese, I still can feel his pain of losing his wife through his words....

So everyday, he goes on and on with life... waiting for the time that he can finally reunite with his wife..

When it was time to leave, I waved at him, and he nodded back at me..
as we drove off, I saw him standing by the door, I gave my final wave again because this is the last time I'm going to see him...  I saw him solemnly waving back...and then it's just him, and the house which was once shared by him and his wife.

My heart goes all out to him..

Shining.. teens?

Few days ago, I went to support my friend who was competing in some unknown competition.

It was about....  Finding the teen that shines the most... Thus, the name Shining Teens...

it was organised by K Box.. you know, the karaoke people..


Anyway.. this event was a big thing among my friends... and because one of my friend was also one of the top ten finalist in that competition, I decided to go and give my fullest support, eventhough I admit, I reluctantly made that decision, but.. as a friend in need is a friend in deed... so what the heck..




The finals was kinda grand.. actually.. they over-exaggerated the grandness... It was held in some random hotel ballroom.. and there was a dress code for the event and it said.. Dinner..

What the hell?? I'm just going to support my friend...
Why the hell would I go so formally..... You're wearing such a nice, elegant outfit.. but ended up, screaming and shouting your idol's name.. So un-glam.... that's why, we went with jeans and t-shirt.. to hell with the codes.. 


and we were giving RM10.00 worth of voucher... to some unknown cafe... which I don't really think it's nice....

here's the rules and regulation..

Who the hell... spends.. more than Rm50.00..  in a coffee shop???  Ok.. maybe you're buying your friend a coffee.. but seriously.. expires in one month after the date of issue?? What kind of justice is that? What happens if next month I'm soo super duper busy till I can't pick my ass up to the coffee shop??


 A lot of people brought whistles.. into the event...

1 whistle blown loudly.. is equivalent to 10 girls screaming.... More so, if you see your friend... you would use every ounce of your energy to blow that whistle..

Most of them brought whistles....  I don't know which is worst now.. The whistles, or the vuvuzela used in WC..




So every finalist, is required to perform.... This girl.... chose to play with ribbons..

and for your information... she got 1st-runner up....




That, certainly.. is not a talent.. Even some cripple kid can do better than her.. Her performance was downright disappointing and utterly ridiculous... and believe me, at the end, she got tangled up with the ribbon... in front of everyone.. She got wrapped up with those ribbons.. from eye.. to toe.


In my opinion, this kind of event.. is just a waste of time...


There's no benefit.. What did they get at the end?? What have they learned??

To be vain, vainer and vainest.. 

Ok, maybe they did make trips to the old-folks home and the orphange.. but that's just merely for publicity..


and mind you, they are still students... this kind of thing just encourage more of them to visit the karaoke frequently and try being the King/ Queen of karaoke for next coming year...

The difference

between Malaysian and Singaporean Driving. 

In Singapore,
Everybody drives safe.
You keep to your lane, I keep to mine.
I want to be fast, but there's a speed limit.
I'll stop when it's red,
and go when it's green,
and slow down when it's yellow.
I want to make U-turn,
but I won't because the sign says it's illegal.
I do reverse parking,
to be more systematic and easy.
I park
at proper parking place

In Malaysia,
We drive like we just don't care,
You want to cut in my lane,
I drive faster
You still insist to cut,
I overtake you from behind
and honk you all the way through
I want to be fast,
Screw the damn signs,
it's time for fast and furious
Colour blind, so we are 
only without traffic police
when it's green,
we go,
when it's red,
we still go.. cautiously
when it's yellow,
we go even faster.
I want to do a U-turn,
I'll will just do a U-turn
unless if there's a police hiding under the tree
I don't do reverse parking,
because it's not easy to snatch others parking.
I'm space efficient,
that's why I park anywhere with spaces between.
Who cares if that car can't come out.
Not my problem.

Toys, toys, and more toys......

I didn know that we have so much soft toys.. 



Today, I went on a soft toy hunt in my house... and.. the numbers of soft toys we have in the house.. was shocking...

I found 27 soft toys.  

Unless you are a fanatic maniac fan of soft toys and teddy bears, 27 is A LOT TO ME.. and If I were to give it to an orphanage, I can make 27 orphans fly to the sky..

and not to mention, the dust that those soft toys carry on their lifeless body.. Do you know how much dust mite inhabiting in 1 bear??
plus, we have serious allergies to anything related to dust.. So if 1 teddy bear is enough to make us sneeze our nose off, itches our eyes till it drop, and stay in bed as if we got a bird flu.... imagine 27 toys.....

I think the toys just killed us. 

Well,  don't get me wrong... even with allergies, I really do love teddies or doggies that resemble a bear.  They are so cute even though they are deaf and dumb. Too bad, I can only see them from afar.. and not snuggle with them when I sleep.

So, let me introduce the soft toys family to you.. This is the first and last time you will ever get to see them, because I'm packing them up and keeping them away.. maybe if I have the time I would give them away..

(*All names in this entry are fictitious, made up  and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental)

Let's start from the biggest of all..

1. Name: Christmas (Note the Christmas costume)
Given by a dear Friend..... (she doesn't want the bear... that explains it all)

2. Name: Happy
Given by another dear friend ( as a gift..)

3. Name: Mr Lonely
Given by brother... (apparently he gave it to his girlfriend, they broke up,  bear comes back, go figure)

4. Name: Bugs Bunny
Given by a another different dear friend..which is supposed to be given to my sister. 

5. Name: Droopy
I don't know where did he come from. But because he's sad and droopy, thus the name.

6. Name: Kopitiam
Cute and coffee in colour, thus the name.

7. Name: Femo
This is the 1st bear that I've ever bought for myself.. It was simply love at first sight.. spotted her with that pweety dress, sitting alone, emoing.... that's why I bought her, and turns out she's the last of her kin!!  (Femo- female emo bear)

8. Name: Melboy
The baby version of Melman in Madagascar... and I seriously do not know how, where and when he came.

9. Name: Monkeybabe
I find the name pretty cute...and thus, the name.

10. Name: Ba-be... (yes, pronounce it exactly like how it is)

11. Name: Cocky
It's a Cocker Spaniel.. it's one type of breed of many breeds...

12. Name: Easter Bun Bun
This is how easter bunny looks like when he got sick

13. Name: Hush Hush
Got it from Hush Puppies... long long time ago..

14. Name: Ban Ban
Yes, it's a panda... Seriously, if her nose was straight, she won't look so retarded like now.

15. Name: Nino..
She's half albino.. without red eyes. ( won by a friend in a carnival game)

16. Name: Baby Tassy
I won her in a carnival game .....

17. Name: Sustagen
I think this bear was a free gift from Sustagen

18. Name:  ... Winnie the Pooh Bear...( you know his name.. so obvious)

19. Name: Sleepy
Because he's always sleepy

20. Name: Mickey the talking Mouse. ( If you don't know this, then you must have a very terrible childhood)

21. Name: Cyber
Siberian Husky given by a good friend as a parting gift..

22. Name: Nigger. (Aw, I'm sorry.. I'm just joking) .. Son Gongoon (Son Gohan's illegitmate son.. )
Evolution occurs fast...

23. Name: Love-Me-Hate-God (Devil's son)
This was given...to my brother ... from his childhood girlfriend..

24. Name: Heart-me
I think it was also given by my bro's long time childhood girlfriend.

25. Name: Mr I-don't-know-what-am-I
WTF is this??!!

26. Name: Poky Poky
Do the hokey poky people!!

Last but not least, the smallest of all...

27. Name: Small pot
A tiny baby panda.. from Beijing..


Oh.. another extra addition .. that.. we simply just can't eliminate..

Name: Ning Ning

Nickname: Mummy/Daddy's Lil girl, Pretender, Cry Baby, Innocent lil' devil, Destroyer



and thus.. ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY... gettting ready to be packed and stored away....

Spot the difference...  Can you???  Look closer.

P.S I hate my allergy... Seriously...... 

or else I can have all the teddies in the world.